Once again, a writing prompt from my old notebooks.
The last one I posted was bad. So bad, in fact, that I posted it visible to logged-in members only, because I really only wanted that one seen by people who already like me! It was entertainingly bad, but it was bad.
This one, though, I like. It’s one of those that I don’t have any clear memory of writing, so I got to find it in a notebook later and discover it like a reader and it was a lot of fun. It isn’t edited, so don’t expect gold, but I think the core idea is fun and it’s a decent little story for a purely spontaneous first draft.
This one technically isn’t a prompt–it was an exercise. Specifically, it was a writing exercise from a book called The 3 A.M. Epiphany by Brian Kiteley. (Affiliate link, just FYI) I’ve never managed to make it straight through the whole book, but I’ve done several of the exercises and they’re pretty good.
I more than doubled the assigned word count, but I think it was worth it. Hopefully, you’ll agree!
Write a fragment of a story from the POV of an unreliable narrator—third person limited (or attached) narration. [500 words] (7/28/15)
Cucumber
Mandy checked Cucumber’s leash, making sure it was good and tight. She was always nervous, taking him for walks inside the city, where he might run off into the dangers of the night. The dangers of the night, because she could never take him out during the day. All the noise and people would have gotten him entirely too excited and worked up, and he’d be all but impossible to control, even with the leash. There was, of course, also the very significant concern of those streets full of people and their reaction to a unicorn on a leash in the middle of the city.
But Cucumber had to go out sometimes, and so Mandy walked him at night. Even the dead of night wasn’t perfectly risk free, both because a city is never truly inactive, and because the unicorn’s subtle white glow drew attention. But she couldn’t keep him cooped up all the time, so they took their walks after dark.
In the two years she’d had her exotic pet, Mandy had learned the best places in the city to take Cucumber on his walks. The Barrens had once been a sparse housing development, but was now a collection of dilapidated, abandoned houses and wide swaths of packed earth.
Though the houses were all abandoned, they were far from empty. The Barrens was home to all manner of dangerous wildlife, four-legged and two-legged alike. In the houses and in between one might encounter coyotes, turkey vultures, meth cooks, or gang-bangers will equal likelihood. For every one of those categories, however, there were at least two crazy people, wandering the overgrown streets or sleeping in the corners of empty houses. It was a dangerous place, even for those who inhabited it. Mandy wrapped Cucumber’s leash around her hand an extra time, and held tight as they started across the dead fields.
The tall, metal lampposts that lined the streets were still there, but had long ago gone dark. There was no moon tonight, but Cucumber’s glow made enough light that Mandy could navigate the terrain reliably.
Mandy knew The Barrens weren’t safe, of course. But Cucumber’s nature required that she walk him where the locals weren’t as likely to notice them, and were even less likely to go to the authorities. They made this walk at least once a week, and hadn’t had any problems yet.
They took a different route each time, and Mandy was getting to know the streets of this dead neighborhood fairly well. They walked in the middle of what was once Calliope street. The wide swath that had once been pavement was now mostly just broken chunks amidst the scrub grasses and weeds that had long since grown through the unused street. At the intersection, they turned right onto Blue street.
“What have we got here?” a voice said, somewhere up ahead, in the gloom outside Cucumber’s field of light. It was a male voice, with a slight accent. Something Latin, Mandy thought.
“I don’t know, man,” a second man answered. This one was definitely Latino, probably Mexican. “Let’s wait and find out.”
It was only a few more steps before Mandy could see the two men clearly. They were indeed both Latino, dressed in black t-shirts and flannel shirts, jeans, and heavy boots. They had bandanas around their heads, and what looked to be prison tats. Cucumber pulled hard on the leash, and Mandy had to stop walking to dig her heels and hold him back.
“You got yourself a pony, little girl?” one of the men said, walking around Mandy and Cucumber.
Mandy didn’t answer.
“She sure does,” said the other. “A pretty little pony for a pretty little princes. You lost, little princess?”
“Nope,” said Mandy. “Cucumber, wait!” She gave the leash a hard yank, and the unicorn settled down somewhat.
“Oh, I think you’re lost all right,” said the second man. “No little princess would be walking through The Barrens alone at night. Definitely not a safe place for a little princess and her pony.”
Mandy shrugged. “Actually, this is exactly where we need to be. Cucumber here has certain needs, and this is the best place to bring him to take care of them.”
“What sort of needs does your pony have?” The men were still circling her menacingly, but their expressions were starting to reveal a bit of confusion now.
“Well, ponies have to eat,” she explained, going along with their misunderstanding of Cucumber’s species.
“I don’t think we got no pony food around here, little princess. Yo, Julio, what do little ponies eat, anyway?”
“I dunno, ‘Cisco. She lookin’ in the Barrens, maybe she thinks ponies eat crack.”
“I can show you,” Mandy offered, holding Cucumber’s leash against another round of pulling. “Would you like to see?”
“Sure, little princess,” said Julio. “Let’s see.”
Mandy smiled, and stepped forward, to Cucumber’s collar. “You ready, boy?” she said softly, into his tufted ear. She scratched the back of his neck idly.
Cucumber snorted in response, no longer pulling against the collar, but shuffling his hooves a bit.
“Okay, boy, here you go!”
Mandy unhooked the leash from the collar and stepped back. Cucumber’s glow increased, until his light illuminated a space around them so wide the faces of the houses on both sides of the street were clearly visible. The unicorn glanced from one man to the other briefly, then seemed to make his decision. He leapt forward, towards ‘Cisco, and drove his long horn straight through the man’s midsection. ‘Cisco’s mouth opened to scream, but Cucumber had pierced his diaphragm. All the came out was a breathless gagging sound, followed by a trickle of blood.
With a flick of his head, Cucumber threw ‘Cisco off and turned towards Julio. The second man hadn’t run, too frozen with shock, his face pale and washed out in the unicorn’s light, his mouth open and working like a fish. He turned now, making to flee up Blue Street, but it was too late. Cucumber rammed him from behind, catching him in the lower left side of his back. He kept running for several paces, hauling a now-screaming Julio with him. Then he turned and flung Julio off the horn as he’d done ‘Cisco. His prey now incapacitated, Cucumber approached one of the bodies and settled into his meal.
Mandy sat down, digging into her bag until she located a tuna sandwich in a zip-close bag. She and Cucumber liked to have their dinner together when possible, so she ate her sandwich while Cucumber ate his catch. Afterwards, they’d go back home for a bath and then bed. Cucumber’s head was covered in the men’s blood, but the rest of his body was quite clean and white still.
He was such a good unicorn. Mandy reached into her bag again, trying to find her juice box.
